SELF-LOVE : It all starts with You!
Today I want to talk on Self-love.
I want to specify on the reason why most people fail on themselves in many areas of their life, be it in their health, be it in their career or in their relationships.
You know we try to do every person in our life, we tried to do Mr. B, we try to do Mr. C
We try to do every other person out there and we failed to do Us. I can never do You. Because the only person I can do better is Me. And for me to do me, I have to first of all discover who I am.
You know, when I discovered the importance of allowing myself to go through the process. Allowing God to prune me through everything. I was going through in my life, those things that we call ugly situations, that we try to avoid, that we try to walk away from.
That we try to do everything in our power to keep away from us – to reject. We do everything, we pray God take away that thing from me. God take away that ugly experience from me.
But we fail to understand that sometimes God wants us to grow through those ugly situations. God wants us to learn something very important from that situation that would enable us first of all to discover who we are. Who we are made on the inside.
And then when we discover who we are made on the inside, then we will be able to align ourselves, to align our actions, to becoming everything that we were made to Be.
To becoming the very best version of us.
You can never become the best version of you untill you have discovered who you are on the inside. The man or the woman you are on the inside. And doing everything in your power to invest in yourself, to work on yourself on a daily basis. Starting from the actions you take on a daily basis.
You know everything is important, from the moment you woke up in the morning to the moment you go to bed at night. They are all important because the actions of today is going to determine the results of tomorrow.
My book titled Pruned is about choosing who your friends are. Everybody can’t be your friend and if your friends are not going where God is taking you to. They can’t be with you. It is not because they are bad but because it is just because they are not fit to where God is taking you to.
Oftentimes, we want the glory , but we don’t want to carry our cross. We want God to take us to the next level but we want to keep the people that God doesn’t want us to go with.
I repeat it is not because they are but because they are not fit to for where God is taking you to. Remember, God uses everything in His power to prune you because, He is working on your character.
Because character is what will keep you and maintain you when you reached that place you want to be in life. Without character, even if you have all the anointing in the world, even if you have all the wealth in the world. Character will fail you and will bring you down. Anointing alone is nit eniugh! You need character.
And that’s why God do everything in his power to Prune us, to shape ue and to build our characte.
Another word for Pruned is to trim off. You know, let me use an example: When you have an orange tree, you don’t just leave it like that. Even if you have added manure, and put it where it can get you know, the sun, the energy from the sun to grow. You need to trim off some branches so that you help the orange tree to grow better and to produce more fruits. This is what got does with our life.
Those ugly situations, I want you to see it as God working on you. I want you to see it as God trimming off some attitudes, trimming off some friends, even family members. Not that they’re bad but because they’re not good to where God wants to take you to and you have to let go of them. Yes you have to be willing to let go of those friends, those family members, those colleagues.
So that you will be able to produce fruits. So that you’ll be able to achieve your goals.
In this 2020. I want you to set goals for yourself. I want you to bring out your dreams and begin to work on them. But remember, learn lessons from those ugly situations and apply those lessons. They are for your own good. They are not meant to destroy you.
The only way you can understand who truly loves you. The only way you can know, among all your numerous friends who really cares about you is once you set boundaries, you know, set your standards. Raise it a little bit high.
Don’t be afraid to raise your standards high and allow yourself to be guided by those standards and by those rules that you set for yourself . That is when you will know who truly loves you. You know, my circle used to be very large but until I made up my mind that I’m going to apply the lessons that I learned from all the ugly experiences that I have had. That was when many friends started living my circle. That is when you will know who truly loves you. When you set your standards and when you set boundaries. When you decide to love yourself first. It is not selfish. It is called SELF-LOVE!
When you choose to pick up a good book and read instead of spending your time. Wasting quality time watching the television. Wasting quality time on social media, on WhatsApp chatting. You know, going out with friends. When you choose to invest in yourself, to do the things that will help you to grow, to make choices that differs from where your friends are going. To turn back and follow your own heart. Follow your own path. We all have our part in life. We all have our destiny and we all have our destinations.
Are your friends going where you are going?
Are they seeing what you are seeing?
You are the one carrying the vision. You are the one carrying the dream.
If you fail to understand these things. If you fail to love yourself first, if you fail to choose what is right for you.
God didn’t allow all those things to come to you because He hates you because you or because He wants to destroy.
Most of the ugly situations and circumstances we are going through in life are meant to help us discover who we are on the inside, to discover our hidden potentials, to unearth those potentials. To discover our strengths.
Mostly it is in all those ugly situations that you discover who you truly are. When people leave your circle, allow them to go. Don’t hold on to people who God is trimming off, Pruning out if your life.
Those friends, those family members, those colleagues, sometimes God will want them to leave. But when you fail to realize this, you’ll keep holding onto what God wants you to let go.
But until you let go of that, that God wants you to let go of, there is no way you can receive what God has prepared for you. It is God intention and it is His will for you to become the very best – the best version of you and that’s the moment you initiate self-love, the moment you humble yourself to go through the process of being pruned, of being trimmed off all the unnecessary bag, all the unnecessary you know, people you keep around you people, that are not helping you to grow. People that are limiting you from becoming what you were created to be.
People that are not adding any value to you.
There is no way you can fly carrying heavy weights. You need to let go of those weights if you really want to fly and when you look at the image of Phoenix on my book cover “Pruned”, it is to make you to understand that what you are going through in life are not really meant to destroy you.
But like a Phoenix you are expected to come out of the fire of life ugly issues and ugly situations, stronger, wiser, better prepared.
So that you can be able to walk your walk and live your dreams. God wants you to be happy. That is the reason of the Trimming, that’s the reason of the pruning. That’s the readon of the trimming off!
You can’t carry everybody along with you. You can’t carry everybody. It is impossible for you to please everybody in your life. It is impossible for you to keep every friendship, to keep every relationship.
There are things you must let go! And this is where people fail. This is where people fail because, they want to please everybody. We want to please our parents, we want to please our sisters, want to please our friends. We want to please our children. We want to please everyone, but what about you?
Self-love initiates when you understand that you need to love yourself first. Remember, the Bible said; “ Love your neighbor as you love yourself”
You can’t love me your neighbor better than you love you. You will treat me the way you treat yourself because if you don’t love yourself there’s no way you can love me as your neighbour.
God bless you.